Working memory and ADHD

The working memory issues that come with ADHD and other types of neurodivergence are frustrating. Working memory is short-term memory, the kind you use to remember a phone number someone just told you, or the next step of the recipe you just read.

It’s a prefrontal cortex function that allows you to hold information in mind while you’re actively using it. Because many neurological processes are running simultaneously, working memory issues don’t just happen in isolation.

For example, you’re planning a trip, and you find it difficult to effectively string together all the time frames and destinations. This is a prioritisation and time-management struggle, but working memory issues add an extra layer because you can’t retain the details you need. Which tab was that on? What was that station called again?

This kind of situation gets even more loaded when other people are involved, and that’s often how working memory comes up in ADHD coaching.

How do working memory issues impact our relationships?

Working memory and other executive functions can have a surprisingly big impact on our relationships and home life. For example:

You said you’d pick up shopping on the way home but you forgot what to get. You message again to check (or forget to go shopping entirely).

Someone asked you to do two things. By the time you’ve done the first, you’ve completely forgotten about the other one.

You committed to sorting out a birthday present for a family member, but it kept slipping your mind.

These things could be minor inconveniences, but they start to impact the people around us. They create tension, disappointment and conflict if they’re left unchecked.

This is especially true if your ADHD hasn’t yet been identified. If neither you or the people around you realise that this driven by a neurological difference – rather than a personality flaw – it can be all the more frustrating for everyone involved.

But even when you and your people understand your ADHD, it doesn’t remove the stress. People come to coaching feeling annoyed with themselves, ashamed that they can’t ‘grow up and figure it out’. The wording is harsh, but these are the kinds of self-judgement that people come in with.

You might feel like you should be able to get over it. You might have been on the brunt of criticism and irritation, whilst feeling helpless to change it.

So what to do?

Most people who come to coaching already have a complex web of reminders on their phone. They’ve got their notes app out before they even start to have a conversation with anyone. They know full well that if it doesn’t get written down in their calendar, it basically doesn’t exist.

But it’s not quite as simple as all that.

Will my working memory get worse if I rely on reminders?

Some people I’ve worked with were unsure about going ‘all in’ on the level of reminders, notes and calendar entries they need. They worried that if they started writing down every single thing, they were admitting defeat. The concern is that if you don’t push yourself to remember without all that, your natural working memory faculties will just get worse.

So I do want to clear this one up, in case it’s crossed your mind too.

Using memory aids won’t make your working memory worse. It’s not an ‘use it or lose it’ situation, neurologically speaking.

External supports like reminders or other prompts allow for cognitive offloading: taking the information in your head and delegating the memory task to an external device or app.

Rather than causing memory decline over time, these things actually support performance by freeing up cognitive load and reducing stress. Your working memory has real limits, and cognitive offloading frees up cognitive space, so it actually improves your capacity and performance.

Behavioural science backs this approach from a different angle too. When you get into the habit of jotting things down and setting reminders, you start to automatically add it into your process. This allows your brain to automate more stuff, reducing decision fatigue over time.

The nuance to bear in mind here (so to speak) is that if you are actually trying to learn certain pieces of information for later recall, it does serve you to actively try to memorise them.

Generally, the bits of information we offload onto external tools are transient and it’s not massively beneficial to try to learn them all. But in some cases it helps to set the intention to actually recall the information (like a phone number or recipe you actually want to retain over time) and to repeat it a few times as well as writing it down.

How to improve your working memory over time

If you do want to improve your working memory, there are a few things that will positively support you.

There are some working memory training programmes out there, but unfortunately there’s not much evidence of them improving ADHD-related outcomes as yet.

The things that do work, tend to do so indirectly. The good news on that? These things will impact your quality of life overall. The bad news? You’re probably already painfully aware of how important they are, and have been trying to improve them for years.

Yep, it’s stress reduction, sleep quality and physical exercise.

Whilst most ADHD coaching clients I work with are already doing what they can in these areas, I do think the stress-reduction part is worth focusing on for a minute.

By reducing your baseline chronic stress levels, you will notice improvements in your working memory, as well as your executive functioning in general. And, by creating strategies and improvements for any other executive functions, you will create the conditions for better working memory performance.

Have a read through my article on executive functioning, and consider which ones you could find strategies for, whether that’s independently or through ADHD coaching